Evie turned ten-months today. I remember rocking her when she was just a few weeks old, tears streaming down my face as I sang "I love you, more than anything", wishing it were true... willing it to be true. I remember how painful it was to feel disconnected from my daughter. I never could have imagined that, in just a few short months, all of that pain would seem like a distant memory; that I would never be able to recall loving her with any less than all of me.
You have managed to do it again. You've managed to make me fall even more in love with you. You are the smartest baby this side of the Mississippi (actually, the Universe, but I don't want to offend all of the babies who read my blog). You learned how to hug this month. It is painfully adorable. You make the cutest little sound when you squeeze; like "mmmmmmmmmm mmmmm" (I think you learned it from your Pops). You wave now, too, which makes you even more magnetic to strangers. They are mesmerized by you and your beautiful, blue eyes (I am, too). My life has changed so much over the past ten months. YOU have changed my life so much. I want to pinch myself sometimes, when I'm cuddling you and those little arms wrap around my neck, because I know that I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. I know for certain that I don't... so all I can be is thankful. And when things get hectic, as they often do when you're finishing up graduate school, moving and running a small business at the same time, all I have to do is look at your smile or hear your funny, machine-gun-laugh, and suddenly everything falls into perspective; I remember what is really important, the rest is just trivial.
Bear has really started to warm up to you, too. In fact, just today he let you crawl in his kennel for the first time. Once you were in there, though, he promptly squeezed out and then used his paw to close the door. It sounds mean, but the teasing goes both ways... At lunch today you stuck your slobbery hand down (holding a piece of chicken) and made Bear think you were going to feed him. Once you had let him lick the chicken for a few seconds, you promptly ate it. It's a good thing me and germs have a pretty decent relationship.